Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
