Yo dont text me then not text me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
