dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
