When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
