Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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