Nicole vs. Life
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
