Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just blew my weed a kiss
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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