Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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