Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
