Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
