Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
