Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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