I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize