got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Found the puke drawer
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
