i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
