no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
