Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
