She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
