I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
two words: eviction party
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
