dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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