My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
