I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
