he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
