We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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