I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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