Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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