i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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