we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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