fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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