if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize