tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
