I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
