ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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