Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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