Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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