Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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