So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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