You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
