The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
