I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
