"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
