i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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