You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
