That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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