Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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