I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
