Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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