is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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