god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
