So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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