She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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