It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
