turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
