I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
