Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I had to cum in my sink.
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