Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
