I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This toilet bowl is my home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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