wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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