Where is the hickey?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
