I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
